My name is Kyle Deason and I used to LOVE to watch ProJared because he was funny. Now if you don't know ProJared he is a game reviewer who reviews games like Hydlide, Two worlds, etc. One day I was bored so I got on Youtube and looked up "ProJared" and saw someone posted a "ProJared Game Review" (The channel is no longer on Youtube and I don't remember the name of it) I thought "Cool a game based off ProJared!? I wonder if its good!" So I clicked on the video and watched the whole thing. I saw the game got a 9.5/10 and a download link was in the description. I of course wanting to play it clicked it and downloaded it. I scanned it for viruses and then got ready to play!
A "ProJared Games" logo came up and I was excited as crap. I got to the main menu and saw a 16 bit ProJared come up and I clicked "New Game" The first level was called "Bees Act 1" the screen sorta looked like a Sonic reference, I chuckled and continued. I entered the level and as the name suggests, all the enemies were bees and everytime he got near them he would run off with a text box under him yelling "BEEEEEEEEEEES" I was unlucky at one point and one of the bees stung Jared and he died. However it wasn't the game over screen I saw in the review. I just shook it off and continued I got back into the level and all the bees were laying on the ground dead. ProJared then looked at the screen and said "What the frickle frackle!? they all died." I guess this was a scripted event or an easter egg so I continued with the level until I beat it with no problem.
I then got to level 2 named "Two Worlds, Too Soon" I remembered this was a joke he made in one of his videos, I laughed again and continued. I got into the level and the enemies were a bunch of knights and stuff, however when ProJared went up to them they ran away in fear. I went over to one of them and touched them then ProJared stabbed him in the face with a spork. I thought to myself "Geez Projared has a interesting sense of humor here" but thought it was part of the game so I shrugged it off. I then got to the boss who was the final boss from Two Worlds II, I beat it after 2 or 3 tries, but when I did Jared went up to him and got out an axe and repeatedly choped his limbs off one by one as realistic like blood spurted out. He then looked at me and said "You're in hell fucker!" I was surprised because ProJared always censors the word fuck in his ProReviews (gotta keep it PG). He then did his victory dance all covered in blood and it went to the "final stage" this time the level was called "You're next" the music became distorted and there was blood dripping from the walls and I saw pictures of dead Youtubers in the background with messages on their faces that said "Jared was here."
Its all making sense now
ProJared was an evil being who wanted all the competition out of the way so he could be the best game reviewer of Youtube. In the background I saw the dead bodies of PeanutButterGamer, Jontron, The Completionist, Angry Joe and even the Angry Video Game Nerd, "But how can that be?" I thought to myself because its not like they're inactive or anything...but then it hit me. "What if he kills them and then makes copies of them so no one will notice." I said to myself. Suddenly ProJared came closer to the screen and said "Good job, you have figured me out. However sense you now know my dirty little secret, I can't just let you go around spoiling the surprise for people so now you must suffer"
The game then cut to black and some happy credit music came on with the ProJared theme song playing and then the game shut off. I then looked behind me and saw a really mangled ProJared doll
Kyle Deason was found the next day lying on his carpet without his arms and legs, his head was also taken off and plastered into his PC monitor. What was also found was a letter saying "Eeeeeh Come on!"
Written by RionRhinoMills